We’ve normalized this middle ground where people can appear supportive while playing it safe.
Nowadays, having someone’s back means agreeing with them in private but protecting yourself in public. Saying “I support you”, but building a paper trail of concerns for later. It feels smart and strategic and has become reasonable behavior.
But that’s not support. It’s emotional insurance fraud. You want the premium of looking loyal without showing up when things go sideways. This goes beyond “staying safe”. It’s actively betting against your colleagues.
True support means wanting others to succeed. Owning it together. It means you don’t get to write a shady email “raising concerns.” You don’t get to say “I told you.” afterwards.
But that’s too scary for most people. We’d rather play this game where everyone feels supportive and avoids risks at the same time.
We are deliberately killing the willingness to take meaningful risks together, yet we wonder why nobody trusts anybody anymore.
Photo by Richard Bell on Unsplash